today everything around me reminded me of utah
and now i have a horrible pain in my chest
i hope that i can go visit


i used to say utah sucked, but i met the most wonderful people there...


so now what?

i really wish i didn't feel like i was going to have a heart attack all the time.

i really do not feel like going to church
why should i have to
it should be my own personal choice
and when people are forced to do something
they end up hating it

and also they will pretend to like it for the happiness of others




I want to make my own choices
and i shouldn't have to feel guilty about it unless i decide i was wrong


comments like this should never be said to anyone

"the devil is influencing you life"

"the devil is trying to ruin my chances of haveing a spiritual life"

what is all this blame on the devil?
to me saying shit like that just gives the meaning that something has influence on you gives it more power


just annoyed with not being able to voice my opinions

i've shut my mouth for so long and i want to shout it out


i need to voice it
to the one who needs to hear it